One of the things that I hate about myself is my habit of over-thinking things. I talk a lot.. and I mean a LOT. I always feel embarrassed after a long conversation because I look back and realize that I did most of the talking.
I was thinking about that today after a long conversation with my neighbors. I was feeling awfully stupid, self-centered, annoying, etc. I tried to figure out WHY I do that. I came to a realization:
I am always worried about what other people think about me.(I already knew this about myself, obviously.)
I am always worried about what other people think about me.(I already knew this about myself, obviously.)
Well I realized that when I am having a conversation, I talk a lot to keep up the appearance that I am really interested and want to keep talking to you.
In high school, I found out through my cousin that a lot of people thought I was stuck up and rude. I had no idea, and I felt terrible. Apparently, when I was being so quiet, people thought I was being that way because I felt I was better than them. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I was always nervous and self concious. I felt like everyone else was better/cooler than me; that is why I stayed so quiet.
Ever since I learned that, I am constantly trying to make sure that I don't appear that way. I never want anyone to think I am a mean/rude person. So when I am having a conversation, I don't want to leave at all. I want to keep talking, to make sure that people know that I like being around them.
Is that weird? Do I have problems?
Wait. Don't answer that. I don't want to know.
Wait. Don't answer that. I don't want to know.
2 comments:
haha. I'm sorry, I think you may have inherited the 'talking things to death 3 times' gene from me. For shy people, we do talk an aweful lot. Where did you find that amazing pic?? It's hysterical!
Well hon, if it makes you feel any better... I never thought that you were thinking that you were better than the rest of us. I always thought that you were really cool and for some reason I really wanted to be like you! LOL. I was like I LIKE TRUCKS :) I have a small truck, it is not a big truck, but it has four wheel drive... no? not cool enough?? Damn. LOL. I really wanted to be really good friends with you. But it just never really happened.
However, I am very thankful to have you at least as an internet friend still. :)
I also think you're still really neat.
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